“I’d say the danger’s passed at this stage.” Best not mention the cavity block.“Building works are nearly complete,” I tell my mum. “Just checking to see if you’re still alive,” she says. I am standing by the skip, when a lump of cavity block whooshes past my ear and lands in it. “What did I tell you about staying away from him on those steps?” she says. “There was a wheelbarrow incident,” I say. YOU TAKE THE HANDLES AND I’LL STAND BEHIND IT TO SUPPORT ITS WEIGHT. “WHERE ARE YOU? WE NEED TO BUMP THIS WHEELBARROW DOWN. I am hiding behind the woodshed with my fingers stuffed in my ears so I might not hear him shout, My husband is trying to stabilise a wheelbarrow, filled with builders’ rubble, at the top of the steps. And by the way, just out of interest, does Bernard have a wife and dependents too? Because she’d like to know.Įarly November. If my husband wants to kill himself, then that’s his business and if Bernard wants to kill himself, then that’s his too. She can’t warn Bernard but she can warn me. She says to stay away from my husband on those steps. “No,” I say but describe a near-miss with my husband, Bernard, a cast iron bath, and the steps. “So you haven’t killed yourself yet then,” she says.
“Please tell me you won’t kill yourself on those steps,” she says. “Just a shame you have to dice with death every time you want to ******* see it,” he says as he pants. “Your money would have been better spent on a ****** Stannah stair-lift,” he says.Īt the top of the steps, I say: “See how pretty it is up here? Sun all day and you can see right over the town.” I am at the bottom of the steps, showing Paul the front of the house, which has been freshly painted. “Whoever has to carry your coffin down after you’ve broken your neck on these steps will have to have good knees,” my sister says as she pants, halfway up.
“Wait till you see the view from up here.” “Never mind the steps,” I call down from the top.
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